My Only Love
by EponinexEnjolras
Summary: Songfic. Erik reflects on everything that he lost when he lost Christine. Set to Evanescence's "October." Movie/Musical-based. Please R&R!


A/N: I don't typically write Erik-centric stories, but after reading to lyrics to Evanescence's "October" I thought they would be perfect for a songfic about Erik reflecting on what happened after Christine left him. I meant to post this a long time ago, but I kinda forgot about it. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I do not own The Phantom of the Opera, it's characters or Evanescence's "October."

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"So that's it then." Erik thought as he watched his angel and her lover row away. "Christine's gone. I now have nothing left." He sat down on the piano bench. "Oh, Christine…" He sighed. Tears began to fill his eyes as memories of Christine and her voice came into his mind. _"Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye…"_

Erik never thought that someday he would have to say goodbye to his little angel. _"Remember me, once in a while; please promise me you'll try…" _Erik gritted his teeth and slammed his fist down on the top of the piano. Remember her?! "Why should I?!" He thought. "I gave her my all, and what does she give me? Nothing but pain, misery, and…" His eyes ran over the scattered pieces of his sheet music. "…and the music of the night…"

_I can't run anymore,  
I fall before you,  
Here I am,  
I have nothing left,  
Though I've tried to forget,  
You're all that I am,  
_

He kneeled down and started to pick up his papers. What was he going to do now? Without Christine, he felt that the world should end. He now had nothing. His angel, his inspiration, his love, was gone forever.

_Take me home,  
I'm through fighting it,  
Broken,  
Lifeless,  
I give up,  
You're my only strength,  
Without you,  
I can't go on,  
Anymore,  
Ever again.  
_

As he put his documents back on top of the piano, his eyes fell on a single rose that rested beside his music. It was once beautiful with soft, blood-red petals, but now it was dried and wilted. "Just like my music." He thought. "And now…" He sighed as he looked around him. "There's nothing but silence…without her."

_My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)  
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love.  
_

He then remembered the tears in her eyes when he threatened to kill her love. "What's more important?" He asked himself. "Your happiness…or hers?" After about a split second of thought, he knew the answer. "Hers." He whispered as a strange feeling washed over him. He then realized that all of his life, ever since he was a child, he had cared about no one but himself. "And now, I'm alone again and it's no one's fault but mine." The tears that he had been holding back now came streaming down his scarred cheeks as he whispered into the surrounding darkness. "Oh, Christine. Please forgive me…"

_I can't run anymore,  
I give myself to you,  
I'm sorry,  
I'm sorry,  
In all my bitterness,  
I ignored,  
All that's real and true,  
All I need is you,  
When night falls on me,  
I'll not close my eyes,  
I'm too alive,  
And you're too strong,  
I can't lie anymore,  
I fall down before you,  
I'm sorry,  
I'm sorry.  
_

He then stood up and walked over to the discarded veil. "It doesn't matter now. She's gone now and that's that!" He murmured angrily as he threw the veil aside. He sighed. "I should have known that loving Christine would bring me nothing but trouble and sadness!"

_Constantly ignoring,  
The pain consuming me,  
But this time it's cut too deep,  
I'll never stray again.  
_

He then walked back over to the withered rose and picked it up. Then he brought to the edge of the lake and threw it in. He watched as petals scattered and began to sink one by one. Erik knew that each petal that fell signified each one of his dreams that were now shattered, thanks to Christine- "No." He reflected. "It wasn't her fault at all." He then picked up a candlestick, walked toward the mirrors and took aim. _Crash! _Each blow to the mirror was like a blow into his heart. Once the passageway was open, he looked back at the sinking rose and whispered; "Goodbye Christine. Goodbye forever."

_My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)  
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love._

"I will never love again…"

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A/N: Cookies to those who give me a nice review!


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